Words All The Way Down

Inspired by the following prompt: [WP] “You are being selfish. If you want to forget go ahead. Why are you forcing me to?” (Grief)

The silence around the kitchen table was so dense that even the clink of the cutlery against plates struggled to pierce it. She tried to broach the quiet, “Is something bothering you honey?”

“Nothing’s bothering me. I just had a long day,” said the only other person at the table. He mechanically resumed eating, as if the physical act of stuffing his mouth with food would stop the conversation.

“Well you just tell me when you want to. A mother always knows when something is wrong.”

He nodded his head and turned back to his food. But the silence wasn’t there anymore. In it’s place was a void that he had now been tasked to fill, whether he wanted to or not. He finished chewing and put down his fork. “Fine then. You are bothering me.”

He continued on, each accusatory you punctuated with the jab of a finger.

“You uninvited me from Christmas.”

“You said I’d be doing you a favor by not coming.”

“You broke something that day.”

She flinched after every statement. Ducking down as if each jab was a projectile coming for her head.

“And now you want me to just pretend like nothing happened, like this”, he gestured back and forth, “is just the same now? And for what? Because, I didn’t want to tell you that I was taking my girlfriend to see my grandfather? All that grief because she isn’t the same faith as us?”

He looked down at his food, disgust on his face, and cleaned up his plate. Before getting up from the table, he looked at her one more time and said, “You have this habit of getting so angry and just spewing things. Hateful things that I’m willing to bet you don’t even remember. But I, fucking, do. Maybe you wish I didn’t remember.” He paused. “I wish I didn’t.”

He stood up from the table, looked her in the eyes, and said, “Thank you for showing me just how conditional this mother’s love really is.”

Then, with the utmost quiet and care, he placed his dinnerware in the dishwasher, and made his way to his bedroom. As he marched up the stairs, the faint sound of crying filled the house.